Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD

[MrsTony]

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[MrsTony]

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[DjPete]

What happens to Credit cards when you die...





This made my day…..Did it really happen in OZ.????

I didnâ€t read about it in the “Age News-paper”.

Are the “Banks out for every “Penny”.







What happens to Credit cards when you die.





>

> Worth the read

>

> Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!

> This is so priceless and so easy to see happening,

> customer service, being what it is today.

>

>

>

> A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her

> for February and March for their annual service

> charges on her credit card, and then added late fees

> and interest on the monthly charge.

> The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around

> $60.00.

>

> A family member placed a call to ANZ :

>

> Family Member:

> "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

>

> ANZ :

> "The account was never closed and the late fees and

> charges still apply."

>

> Family Member:

> "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

>

> ANZ :

> "Since it is two months past due, it already has

> been."

>

> Family Member:

> So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

>

> ANZ :

> "Either report her account to the frauds division or

> report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

>

> Family Member:

> "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

>

> ANZ :

> "Excuse me?"

>

> Family Member:

> "Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the

> part about her being dead?"

>

> ANZ :

> "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

>

> Supervisor gets on the phone:

>

> Family Member:

> "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

>

> ANZ :

> "The account was never closed and the late fees and

> charges still apply."

>

> Family Member:

> "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

>

> ANZ :

> (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

>

> Family Member:

> "No, I'm her great nephew."

> (Lawyer info given)

>

> ANZ :

> "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

>

> Family Member: "Sure."

> (fax number is given)

>

> After they get the fax:

>

> ANZ :

> "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know

> what more I can do to help."

>

> Family Member:

> "Well, if you figure it out, great!

> If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think

> she will care."

>

> ANZ :

> "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

>

> Family Member:

> "Would you like her new billing address?"

>

> ANZ :

> "That might help."

>

> Family Member:

> " Rookwood Memorial Cemetery ,

> 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney

> Plot Number 69."

>

> ANZ :

> "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

>

> Family Member:

> "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

> END

Thanks to Tony Armstrong for this email...lol

[MrsTony]

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j106/b...ction=view¤t=balls-of-steel-annoying-devil-ea.flv

[Mutha]

Gotta love this mother.

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
He sat down at the kitchen table,let out a big sigh, and said, "Mum,
I have something to tell you, I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that
mean you have oral sex with other men?"

The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right."

His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"





  

[MrsTony]

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter
At the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful,blood
Curdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter,"It's only someone having the
Holes put into her shoulder blades for wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.
Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. "Oh my God,"
Says the old lady, "now what is happening?"
"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "She's just having her head drilled to
Fit the halo."
"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm going to hell."
"You can't go there,"says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and taken advantage
Of."
"Maybe so, says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.

[MrsTony]

Never piss off a guy that has a backhoe



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[MrsTony]

[MrsTony]

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[MrsTony]

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j106/b...ction=view¤t=BrazilianBeerPt1.flv

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j106/b...ction=view¤t=BrazilianBeerPt2.flv

[MrsTony]

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j106/b...ction=view¤t=dogscompilation.flv

[kitmark]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83I4zWOf8lM

Some wrassling dude called Hayabusa comes unstuck....

[MrsTony]

1...Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
2...If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
3...My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
4...To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
5...Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
6...I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
7...Illiterate? Write For Help
8...If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong
9...Cat: The Other White Meat
10...Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

[MrsTony]

A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the
top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over
to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has
noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up
right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the
form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman
greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been
there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, "Sir, what is the
price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you're going to
shit yourself when I tell you the price."

[MrsTony]

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j106/b...ction=view¤t=Yellowpa.flv