Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD

[rave]

Why sharks would never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

[rave]

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting and doing nothing. The rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

[rave]

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

[rave]

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

[rave]

Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, itâ€s a sin any day of the week.

[rave]

Titanic was about to sink. People on the ship were crying, running and praying to God - just then a passenger had the following conversation with the captain. Passenger: How far is land, from here? Captain: Around two miles... Passenger: Only two miles, then why these fools are making noise. I can swim even more then that. Just tell me in which direction? Captain: Downward...

[rave]

Two carrots were crossing the road. One was ran over by a car. After taking the injured carrot to the hospital the doctor says, "Well the good news is that your friend is going to live, but the bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

[rave]

What kind of crimnal has moral fibre? The answer is: A cereal killer.

[rave]

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

[rave]

The accountant was visiting the Museum of Natural History and said to the person standing next to him, "That dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old." "How did you get such exact information?" "I was here ten months ago and the guide said the dinosaur was two billion years old."

[rave]

The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
"Thank you, dad, but where is the user's guide?"

[rave]

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

[rave]

An airplane was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. Few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

[rave]

A science graduate asks, "Why does it work?" An engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?" An accounting graduate asks, "How much it costs?" A humanity graduate asks:

"Do you want fries with that, Sir?"

[rave]

Did you hear about the two antennae that got married?
The wedding wasn't too great but the reception was perfect.