The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

61. There has been an urgent family emergency, which I can't talk about lest I endanger any innocent bystanders. (This one could be good for a few days).

[Mutha]

62. My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.

[Mutha]

63. Someone smashed in my windows this morning with a large blunt object.

[Mutha]

64. (If you have a friend you want to skip work with) "At our potluck yesterday, there must have been something bad. I am so sick, I think I have food poisoning"....(a few moans for effect)... (then have your buddy call & do the same routine).

[Mutha]

65. I sprained my wrist cooking dinner in the microwave last nite.

[Mutha]

66. I slipped in the shower and torque my knee. I can't walk on it at all.

[Mutha]

67. I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house for a LONNNNNNNG time. A *long* time.

[Mutha]

68. True Story ---- A fellow employee showed up 2 1\2 hrs late because he couldn't open the trunk on his car so he drove to 3 different auto shops then on the way back from the 3rd his trunk popped open. The reason he needed to get in his trunk he had a tire low on air and wanted to change it.

[Mutha]

69. This one was actually used by one of my employees. "Sorry I did not show up yesterday, I locked myself in the bathroom."

[Mutha]

70. I won't be able to come to work next week . Were trying for a baby and the doc says next week is the best chance.

[Mutha]

71. These aren't excuses. They're signs at Phil's Oyster Bar in Baton Rouge. One says " In case of death in the family, please call in before 11:AM on the day of the game! " The other says " New Employment Policy: Work or Get Fired! "

[Mutha]

72. I'm calling in blind - just can't see myself working for you today...!

[Mutha]

73. This one has worked for me every time I used it, but the only issue is not to use all the time. And now the excuse. I can't make in to work today, I ate bad sushi last night.

[Mutha]

74. I will not be into work today because my parents dog died.

[Mutha]

75. Someone dumped a truck-load of sand in front of my driveway and I won't be in today.