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**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:53am

31. I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I can't see working today.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:53am

32. If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:54am

33. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:54am

34. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:54am

35. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:55am

36. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:55am

37. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet .

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:55am

38. I had missed a lot of work and my boss made me promise I would not be late, but I woke that day to find my cat bleeding. The poor cat had a hole in its belly where an abscess had burst. I called the boss and she said, " Sure it does..." The vet was very accommodating and wrote me an official excuse, and it hung on the boss's bulletin board for a very long time. It read, "Please excuse Sheryl being late to work today. Her cat had a hole in it.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:56am

39. I am calling in because I do not feel up to par today.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:56am

40. I am not coming in because I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out green!

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:57am

41. I'm not going to work today, I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I'm out of Gas 'till payday. (actually used by a security guard)

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:57am

42. I have a bit of a problem. I got the end of a Q-tip stuck in my ear and have to go to the doctors to get it out.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:57am

43. I was already at work for this and wanted to leave...Tell the boss I called home a few minutes ago and gotta go, my girlfriend went out to sunbathe naked in the back yard and locked herself out of the house and needs the door opened.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:58am

44. Actually used and they will know me but it was 15 yrs ago.... my roommates horse overate and he has been walking it since midnight, I need to walk the horse so it doesn't lay down and die.

**Mutha** · 23-11-2008, 05:58am

45. Yesterday I Caught a bad cold while vacationing in Miami, Florida. Sorry!

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