The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

1. I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the vet.

[Mutha]

2. My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.

[Mutha]

3. I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.

[Mutha]

4. I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I landed on my elbow.

[Mutha]

5. Last night in San Francisco I was attacked by a guy who didn't like the remarks I made about him and he hit me in the face and broke the windshield of my car with a small bat that I tried to hit him with.

[Mutha]

6. I have a head ache.... # 22...actual times someone at work has called in with this excuse!

[Mutha]

7. I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the hospital.

[Mutha]

8. I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.

[Mutha]

9. I'm not coming in because I need a mental day.

[Mutha]

10. Last night we had a party and I woke up with a strange man in my bed!

[Mutha]

11. My car caught on fire on the way to work so I can't make it in.

[Mutha]

12. My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.

[Mutha]

13. My cat got ran over by a motorcycle and I need to take it to the vet.

[Mutha]

14. My boyfriend hit me over the head with a speaker and I'm kind of messed up.

[Mutha]

15. I was stepping down out of my trailer and I missed the step and when I landed on the ground I messed up my back.