The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[cAstAgeAr]

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

[cAstAgeAr]

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

[cAstAgeAr]

Why is it called tourist season if we canâ€t shoot at them?

[cAstAgeAr]

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

[cAstAgeAr]

If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnâ€t the whole damn airplane made out of that shit?

[cAstAgeAr]

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

[cAstAgeAr]

Iâ€m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

[cAstAgeAr]

Iâ€m in shape. Round is a shape.

[cAstAgeAr]

Iâ€m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

[cAstAgeAr]

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

[cAstAgeAr]

Ever notice when you blow in a dogâ€s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

[cAstAgeAr]

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

[cAstAgeAr]

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Sheâ€s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

[cAstAgeAr]

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

[cAstAgeAr]

One out of every three Australians is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.