The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[cAstAgeAr]

"My wife doesn't know what she wants."

"You're lucky. My wife does."

[cAstAgeAr]

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

[cAstAgeAr]

Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children.

[cAstAgeAr]

The quickest way to make tossed salad is to give fresh vegetables to an 18-month-old child.

[cAstAgeAr]

"What do use for washing dishes?"

"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

[cAstAgeAr]

"How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?"
"Fine. She vanished last night."

[cAstAgeAr]

"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"

"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"

[cAstAgeAr]

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."

[cAstAgeAr]

There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

[cAstAgeAr]

"I gotta 'A' in spelling."

"You dope! There isn't any 'A' in spelling."

[cAstAgeAr]

My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.

I have no objections - I let her talk.

[cAstAgeAr]

There's one thing good about being poor - its inexpensive.

[cAstAgeAr]

Summer must be over. My neighbour just returned my outdoor furniture

[cAstAgeAr]

Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.

[cAstAgeAr]

An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.