The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[cAstAgeAr]

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

[cAstAgeAr]

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

[cAstAgeAr]

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

[cAstAgeAr]

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

[cAstAgeAr]

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps… from moving cars.

[cAstAgeAr]

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

[cAstAgeAr]

Boy, is my wife stupid! It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughter's no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

[cAstAgeAr]

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous… everyone hasn't met me yet.

[cAstAgeAr]

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel!

[cAstAgeAr]

I remember one guy gave my wife a good piece of his mind. Yeah, it was right after she took a good piece of his leg.

[cAstAgeAr]

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once, a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional; the knife had butter on it.

[cAstAgeAr]

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

[cAstAgeAr]

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.

[cAstAgeAr]

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

[cAstAgeAr]

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit