The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[cAstAgeAr]

Parents are so excited about the first steps and words of their children, but then they spend the next 17 years telling them to sit down and shut up

[rave]

"One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool"

[cAstAgeAr]

Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other. Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of Species". Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?" The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."

[rave]

"Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel."

[cAstAgeAr]

Passion: A feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you've never felt before.

[rave]

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."

[rave]

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man."

[cAstAgeAr]

Patience accomplishes its object, while hurry speeds to its ruin.

[rave]

"Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...."

[cAstAgeAr]

Patience is how you act while you're waiting

[rave]

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."

[cAstAgeAr]

Patience is the silken cord on which are strung the pearls of virtue.

[rave]

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears."

[cAstAgeAr]

Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes

[rave]

"Zippers are more popular in automated offices than elsewhere -- if you wear a button, someone's liable to push it."