Bruce, Simmo and Heidi trip and live travel map

[rjw3105]

These buffoons in blue uniforms Australia wide whinge about a lack of personnel and resources and so an efficient, reasonable use of those scarce resources in SA is to put a radar trap on the Nullabor literally in the middle of no-where. Yeah, right. I think Volvi summed it up best!!! Stay safe you 3. This Blog has been a great read. I think Heidi's plan of a knicker trail so she doesn't get lost is an absolute winner, too

[heidissista]

Don't look at me. It's not me!!!! maybe you have more than one mother out there????? It would explain a LOT...

STOP PRESS: Simmo was caught wearing Heidi's undies close to Boardertown!

Bruce is back in Eucla getting his rack welded for the second time (in case anyone is interested, my rack is FINE - Heidi), so Simmo and I have the computer (and four hours to kill). We are entertaining ourselves by going through Bruce's stuff. Simmo would like to wear Bruce's undies on his head, but we've been on the road a while now, so he is rethinking that idea.

There has been more sightings of lesbians. My favourite thing on this entire trip is the face Simmo pulls when you say the word 'lesbians'. If he is feeling a bit down, all you have to do is mention lesbians and he is right to go for the next few hundred kms. Oddly, I tend to bring lesbians out of the woodwork in every small country town (I think it is the leather), so Simmo has been well entertained. Simmo is beside himself, last night's lesbian gave me her phone number this morning and on her card it turns out she is a masusse. Simmo is SPEWING.

We left Falconhurst yesterday morning in a massive frost and came out to find the seats frozen and ice all over the bikes. We all immediately turned tail and raced back in to put on our wet-weather gear. From there we rode to Esperance and along a straight, flat desert. When we stopped for fuel, Bruce pointed out that wasn't ACTUALLY the Nullabore and maybe I should stop taking photos of straight bits of road. I got a mob of groupies, a bus full of pensioners pulled in at a truck stop and all wanted to chat. I entertained the crusties while Bruce chatted to a bunch of guys on Trumpies all doing a slow ride, a few hundred kms a day, stopping for many beers. Simmo and I thought that sounded like a BRILLIANT plan!!

Last night, we mistimed the dark, and ended up trapped between roadhouses. We found ourselves on the road at dark with the biggest kanagaroos we've ever seen. I managed to find us some accomodation at Boardertown, but it meant we had 89kms to go in the dark. We'd bumped into a guy in a 4WD earlier, so I asked him to give us an escort to Boardertown with his driving lights on, hopefully clearing the road. Turns out that was a bit of a mistake, his idea was to go as fast as he could in the dark, not slowing down or swerving for anything. We were pulled along in the malstrom. There were roos everywhere, all standing taller than the bike, some making dashed at the bikes. Only 10 or so kms from Boardertown, we went down a little dip and into a large mob all over the road. Simmo and the 4WD got through ok, Bruce got through with some pretty impressive swerving, but as I hit them the mob had panicked and were zig zagging up the road. I threw out the brakes (my headlight must have all but disappeared behind Bruce as it dipped), and tried to swerve through them. I had one on either side, both weaving eratically and I was forces to stick out my left foot and give one a little love tap. Out mate the in the 4WD sailed off on his merry way as I had to slow right down for a second because I thought I was going to throw up.

Today, we aren't going to make Adelaide, but I'll give you a ring Greeny to chat.

Last night the connection was dodgy, so sorry about the lack of post.

Talk to you soon.

HEIDI xxx

P.S. THAT IS NOT MY MUM, THAT IS MY SISTER BEING A NOODLE! If it was our mother, you wouldn't be able to get her off the site. I'll give you a call tonight too Gem. The boys are excited about the escort.

[bear]

Great reading!
Can't understand the reason for booking 139 out there. But it hasn't changed in at least 20yrs I've been across it.
Perfect place to catch people, no where to hide, no traffic to tuck in behind and if you don't stop, you're going to get pulled over a few hundred kays later. No escape!
Just the mentality we have in all states of Australia that if you exceed the speed limit by even 1 km/hr, you're a danger to mankind, and to stop you being dangerous, they take money off you...
Hope the last day or so are safe and you get home on time and all OK.
Maybe you could post flags on your travel map for the lesbian locations?

[Greeny_SA]

The trio were all cheerful & well when they left adelaide,they are heading
for mt gambier. left adelaide at 4.30 pm with a 4.5 hr ride to the mount.
i don't know hqw many k's they will do today but if you check the map,
it's a fukin long way from ceduna to mt gambier.
you three are my hero's
stay safe & watch the copper's.

[DjPete]

sounds like these mad b@#$rds are trying to break some sort of record...
seems like they are going faster now.
Is that because it is downhill??
TAKE CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LOAFIE]

Got drunk dialled by the gang last nite , in good spirits ( literally )

[BLACKZOOK]

Thanks for the support guys, it sucked being caught but in the end we were speeding in an area we shouldnt have been. We have been incredibly lucky so far and should have known when to back off, the rest of the trip will be at a more sedate pace.

No point winging just cop it on the chin. When asked if we were speeding we said yes, did we have a reason - no. Fair cop - theywere actually both good guys. I suggested they lock Heidi in the back of the van and throw chicken necks at her then we could call it square and leave without a ticket. No dice.

[BUSGO]

Dam shame to ruin a great run like that, but yep, ya take ya chances and can be lucky most of the time.
I'll be heading down to Canberra with Ruffy on the weekend to watch you guys stumble in.
(Hope you have a spare sleeping bag MAX).

[BLACKZOOK]

Day 12

Simmo: we were up at a sparrowâ€s fart, after waking up the entire caravan park with our bikes, as you do. There was no coffee, so I raced off the petrol station (Bruce: in the wrong f*&^ing direction), where we had pathetic coffee but nice bacon and egg muffins. From there it was up the road heading east playing cat and mouse.

Heidi: I forgot to mention the chap that owned the caravan park. We rode in just on sunset, to find there were very few beds left in town. There was one cabin left in the entire caravan park, and nothing in the hotel. The cabin had two double beds, and that was it. I was a little unsure about sharing a cabin with Simmo and Bruce with only two double beds, attractive as they are, I would probably have trouble controlling myself, Iâ€m only human. The owner was hysterical. He would not accept that none of us were sleeping together, he didnâ€t care which two. I said we were all just mates and no-one was sleeping together, but he would have none of it. While the boys were outside smoking he said, ‘why donâ€t you sleep with them, they look like nice guys, theyâ€ll see you right. It will make the trip more interesting!†Eventually we agreed to make mad monkey love just to shut him up. Weâ€re pretty sure there were cameras. We KNOW we pissed off the neighbours.

Bruce: We got on the bikes and rode, when we got tired we stopped. Nothing much happened except beautiful scenery and evidence of environmental vandalism by mining companies. Iron Knob, a beautiful mountain, letâ€s dig it to the ground and sell it to the Chinese.



Simmo: Just after there (Heidi: actually a long way, but Iâ€ll let Simmo tell it), we came across the site of the Australian Loch Ness Monster. Whilst in front I saw some movement in the water. Quick as a flash I pulled off the road and dragged my camera out, then I took a photo of it. The photo doesnâ€t do justice to the brilliant purple water. After trying to catch up to the others at a bit over the limit, beyond and behold around the corner came a cop bike. I basically crapped myself and the best thing I could think of was to give him a wave and he just shook his head at me and left me alone, so I wandered on my merry way.



Heidi: I had my first shit day. I got an ear ache that steadily got worse as the day went on. It got to the stage where I couldnâ€t turn my head or swallow, and every bump on the road was agony. Just as the pain hit its peak, we pulled over to meet the lovely GreenySA. Iâ€M REALLY SORRY GREENY, I really was pleased to meet you, and the sign was one of the funniest things Iâ€ve seen on the trip. Turns out three Neurophen and a Red Bull really does fix everything.

Bruce: As we turned into the street where we were meeting Greeny, we saw a huge sign saying ‘Bruce, Simmo, Heidiâ€.



After a few minutes getting acquainted, we found out that he is a beer tap plumber. Simmo nearly had to be physically restrained and was begging to become his apprentice. From there Greeny guided us the quick way around Adelaide peak hour traffic which was again terrifying after being in the middle of nowhere for weeks.

Simmo: Today is the first day we havenâ€t seen kangaroos! I didnâ€t even see a dead one. Actually, we didnâ€t see anything today. Except a guy in a blue wife beater who was crossing the road in the middle of nowhere.

Heidi: Iâ€m moving to the desert where there is no scary traffic.

Bruce: We left Greeny on the outside of Adelaide, determined to get a bit further down the road. Made it a few hours south before I started nodding off at the wheel which was surprising I was on a bike.



Made it as far as Coonalpyn.

[Missy_Moo]

[quote=BLACKZOOK]
Day 12

Turns out three Neurophen and a Red Bull really does fix everything.


[quote]

make sure its neurofen plus +++ (go the codeine)

then alternate with Panadine 15's - after say 2hrs (you have to ask for it, its availabe over the counter its half the strength of panadine forte.) Keep loading up on the codeine - it converts into morphine in ya liver.... and panadol is different to neurofen - hence the 2hrly swapping.....

[DjPete]

dont know where you guys are now...

Anyway Melbourne is still on the cards?
What is your eta there??
Any clues...

[heidissista]

When are you guys hitting Melbourne?? If I don't get a chance to catch up with you, a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow. What a top way to spend your birthday...screaming along with a middle ear infection, bugs in your teeth and semi permanent narcolepsy.

HIP HIP HOORAY!

[BLACKZOOK]

Heidi's birthday!!! we had no idea thanks we will have to do something for the old girl.

We will only be going as far east as Geelong then up through Baccus Marsh, not sure what time tho so will post up when we get closer.

It's been a hell of a ride so far

[heidissista]

well I hope to find you guys tomorrow. Heid is normally fairly quiet about her birthday (The only bloody quiet thing about her!!!!), but I think a sign stuck to the back of her leather jacket could probably cover it!

Heidi's birthday!!! we had no idea thanks we will have to do something for the old girl.

We will only be going as far east as Geelong then up through Baccus Marsh, not sure what time tho so will post up when we get closer.

It's been a hell of a ride so far

[DjPete]

I'll pop over to Geelong if the timings right.
Anyone else from Melb?
PM me if you are a possible...