The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

151. I didn't come to work because I forgot to.

[Mutha]

152. I'll be late because I'm having car trouble. The trouble is that I'm not in it yet. (I actually used this one day when I over slept...it worked.)

[Mutha]

153. Miss an entire day of work, do not call in, do not do anything that is work-related, then when you go in to work the next day and are asked where you were, just simply say that you do not want to f*&^ing talk about it. If you are pressed for an answer, just shake your head in disgust, and walk away. Remember to mumble all day, something about 'bitches and whores.

[Mutha]

154. A Guy in our IT department was very late for work today because he said he couldn't get his garage door open, it took him two hours to dismantle it to get his car out!

[Mutha]

155. My former supervisor once called in sick because she said she had a yeast infection! A few weeks later she called in sick again and said that she had hemorrhoids! (Actually happened)

[Mutha]

156. I used this excuse and there's not a whole lot they can do. I called in and told them my front door fell off my house!

[Mutha]

157. A friend of mine called into her work and told them she had amnesia and wasn't even sure if she worked there to be calling in sick.

[Mutha]

158. I'm sorry that I'm late for work today boss. I stayed home to wait for the cable guy. Then I remembered that you don't pay me enough for me to have cable. So here I am.

[Mutha]

159. Employee: Sorry I'm late, but I couldn't get my car started. Boss: Why not? Employee: I was asleep.

[Mutha]

160. I can't come in to work today. When I woke up, I looked in the mirror and I saw a gray hair.

[Mutha]

161. I can't come in today. I looked in the mirror and I saw wrinkles. Ugh!

[Mutha]

162. I wont be in to work today, my cat hid my car key because he gets lonesome when I'm gone.

[Mutha]

163. One of my employees called in last year with this excuse, and she was serious: I have a boil on the hair line of my pubic hair and it is sore.

[Mutha]

164. I am a manager of a hardware store and I have heard the best ones !!! I once called an employee at noon who was supposed to be in at 8. He stated that he would not be in because the day before he was putting ladders away in the lumber department and he came down with hemorrhoids !!! Needless to say his pain in the ass is good for a lot of laughs !!!

[Mutha]

165. I have a co-worker who had to miss work because she was breaking the ice in her freezer with a knife and hit the whatchamicallit (official name) that gives the freon to the freezer and her fridge was leaking freon. As this is a hazardous substance, she had to stay home and wait for the HazChem people to arrive.