The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

121. A girl I worked with called in with: "I wont be in today because my dog has a headache, and I need to take it to the vet.."

[Mutha]

122. I won't be in to work today. My wife said she is going to conceive today, and I want to be there when it happens.

[Mutha]

123. I can't come in today....I found a stray cat by my home this week-end and it has really bad diarrhea and I have to take it to the vets.

[Mutha]

124. I'm going to need to take a couple of day off Thursday and Friday, because the city said I have to clean up my back yard before Monday or I'm going to get a big fine!

[Mutha]

125. I can't come in today because I feel sick and I can't breath because of all the smoke in the air.

[Mutha]

126. A girl that I used to work with said she couldn't get come to work because she'd been abducted over the weekend and needed to recover.

[Mutha]

127. Sorry, won't be in for 3 days. Went to see my sister off on her cruise to Bahamas...darn ship left with me still on it.. Captain refuses to turn back.

[Mutha]

128. I'll be in late this morning. I have a possum in my backyard and it's freaking out my dog. I have to get it out before I can leave.

[Mutha]

129. I'll be in late today because my cat is sick again. (This is the same person from excuse # 123)

[Mutha]

130. I'm going to be late today. I was taking out the trash at my girlfriends apartment this morning when the bag ripped open and spilled garbage on my clothes. I'll have to go home and do my laundry because this was my last clean shirt.

[Mutha]

131. True: from a workmate to our boss, who showed us the letter after the chap had left our employment. "Dear Ken, Sorry I was late again yesterday, I got your note, but what really happened, is, I was having porridge for my breakfast, when our pet budgie fell into it, I couldn't leave the poor thing like that! It took me over the hour to clean the porridge off Jenny."

[Mutha]

132. Over the week-end my boyfriend and I ate raw oysters at a restaurant in Half Moon Bay, California and we both have food poisoning. My boyfriend had to go to the hospital because he was throwing up blood and I have extremely bad diarrhea! I won't be in for a few days.

[Mutha]

133. "I'm not going to work today because if the government can sit on their behinds and get paid, so can I!! Who wants to work to support them anyways! Not I !!! I think I will sit on mine for awhile and make my own money with my favorite buddy, my computer!! Hail to technology!"

[Mutha]

134. "I can't make it to work today, my keys are locked in my car, my car is locked in the garage, and my husband is away for the week with the key to the garage....Sorry..."

[Mutha]

135. "I can't come to work today, my chain came off my bicycle."