The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

106. I am going to be late because this morning the soul came off of my sons tennis shoe. I have to wait until the mall opens at 10:00 to buy him some more shoes. The Boss: Well can he wear another pair of shoes to school? ME: On what you pay me, he doesn't have another pair. The bank opens at 9:00 I have to go by there and take out a loan for the new shoes. Be there as soon as I can.

[Mutha]

107. Late For Work.... I'll be a little late today. I washed my car yesterday and then parked it right away (and since this has happened before I should have remembered) but I set the parking brake and now one wheel is stuck. I would drive my wife's car, but the last time this happened, I just drove the car 'till the wheel broke free, but this time it stayed stuck and now my car is in the middle of the road, so I really need to fix it before I come in.

[Mutha]

108. I can't make it to work today, because the fan belt broke on the van, the brakes went out, and it has a flat tire.

[Mutha]

109. I can't come into work today, because the hot water tap broke on the bathtub.

[Mutha]

110. The pharmacy is making up some cream for me today - so I won't be in to work.

[Mutha]

111. I left the windows open in my room all night and when I woke up I had a stiff neck. I can't coming in today.

[Mutha]

112. A friend of mine and her brother went to Florida for a week to see her ex. She called and said she was going to be a few days late because her brother was stung by a jellyfish...of course I started laughing. She says "really, there were 3 stings on that beach in 2 days..." and went on to embellish further. Finally I said "yeah right". There was a short pause, then she began laughing. "They bought it at work!" she replied.

[Mutha]

113. I'll be in later today. I accidentally through away my jewelry, that was in a zip lock bag, away in the dumpster after I got back from vacation. I have to try and find it.

[Mutha]

114. When I was an evening manager at a grocery store, I would receive a variety of excuses for tardiness or absences. My favorite was one that was called in by a sixteen-year old carryout. He called five minutes before his shift was supposed to start and said that he would be unable to work that night because his girlfriend's house had almost caught on fire the night before, and he was tired.

[Mutha]

115. Work....I didn't want to be late for work again today so I called in sick instead!

[Mutha]

116. This excuse has been used by myself several times. I'll be out today or late, I woke up dizzy (I suffer from vertigo).

[Mutha]

117. Please excuse Henry for being late. He was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.

[Mutha]

118. I can't come into work today. There is a cat sitting on the fence outside more door and he won't let me out. It looks like he will attack me if I go outside!

[Mutha]

119. I'll be in a little late today. During the night the power must have gone off because when I woke up my alarm clock time was flashing. And of course I over slept.

[Mutha]

120. My assistant called in with this one. "I cant come to work today because my cat is lonely and stressed out and if I don't spend quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the furniture!"