The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

76. A friend I hadn't seen for years came round just as I was setting off for work, I couldn't leave could I?

[Mutha]

77. I actually used this. It did happen. I was late yesterday because my cat was alarmed at my sleep-talking and jumped off the bed, knocked my alarm off the dresser, of which the batteries fell out; And I over slept.

[Mutha]

78. I won't be in today because I can't find my clothes.

[Mutha]

79. I'm calling in sick - of working for your company...!

[Mutha]

80. I won't be able to make it to work today due to my Aunt flying in from ______________, you see, she has one arm and two pieces of luggage and really needs me to be there for her.

[Mutha]

81. Employee....Sorry I didn't come to work yesterday. Boss....Why didn't you call off. Employee....I had to take my grandmother to the hospital and they didn't have a phone! A TRUE STORY

[Mutha]

82. I am sick with the Lack. Lack of ambition.

[Mutha]

83. Last night a friend I haven't seen in a long time came over and gave me a bear hug and broke one of my ribs, so I won't be in today.

[Mutha]

84. True Story .... A co-worker called in to work 2 hrs. late and said. I can't come to work today, sometime during the night, a reindeer broke it's leg and died, blocking my driveway, so I have to wait for the State Ranger to arrive and perform an investigation and remove the reindeer before I can get my car out of the garage.(this guy actually lives near the N.J. Shore Area). He also called in two weeks later with this one .... (five hours late for work, he called in and said). I'll be late for work today because the train had a flat tire and I had to help change it.

[Mutha]

85. This is a phenomenally effective excuse, for reasons which escape me: "Sorry I'm late; I had to buy a lottery ticket." If someone points out that you are, in fact, several HOURS late, say "oh, yeah, there was a line."For some reason, no one ever questions you. If you are working some crap minimum wage job, "poverty" excuses are always good: "Sorry I'm late, I had to pawn my alarm clock." or more elaborate ones involving having the gas cut off and hypothermia, and the like. This will instill such a feeling of guilt in your boss that he may not even dock your pay for the several hours in which you were not, in fact, at work!

[Mutha]

86. I won't be in today. I was up all week-end with this new girl I met and I didn't get any sleep....if you know what I mean!

[Mutha]

87. My name is Susan I live and work in Lexington, North Carolina. I work for a place called LampCrafters and my co-workers went out for lunch with some of her friends and smoked marijuana. After she returned from lunch another co-worker was teasing her and told her he had put a voodoo curse on her. She ran crying to the boss and said some one put a root?? on her and it had her head all messed up and she had to go home. Believe it or not it worked! (Oh this was suppose to be her first time smoking pot)

[Mutha]

88. I called into work a few weeks ago and told my boss that the filling in my tooth had come out and I was in Excruciating pain and that I couldn't see a dentist till the end of the week!

[Mutha]

89. I can't come in today because my daughter's asthma was really bad all night and I had to take her to the hospital for a treatment and I didn't get any sleep !

[Mutha]

90. I lost my car keys skiing and I can't leave until I find them!