Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD

[NEMESIS]

This is the best thing ive ever heard.
Wed all be so lucky if someone would do the same for us.

http://ralph.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=417188

Stroll down to read some other messed up stories,my fav" Cops stormed an old folks home to arrest a pensioner who was terrorising the joint on his electric scooter armed with a toy gun and a cowboy hat"
Too good!
If my sorry arse ever got to that age id be the one doing that an then some.
With a busa though ;)

Anyhow another joke...

Captain Diego Montoya Garcia, of the spanish Armada flagship "Quando" was on the deck one day when his first mate ran up to him and cried "Captain! There's an enemy ship on the horizon!"
Captain Diego turned a calm eye to his mate and said "Bring me my red shirt."
The first mate ran and got the captains red shirt, which he put on.
A fierce battle raged and the Quando was victorious. After the battle, the first mate asked the captain "Sir, why do you don a red shirt before battle?"
The captain yawned bravely and said "If I am wounded in battle, the men will not see me bleeding, and they will be inspired."
The mate was in awe of his wise captain. Just then, another crewman ran up to the captain and cried "Captain! There are twenty enemy ships on the horizon!"
The captain turned to his first mate and ordered "Bring me my brown pants."

[MrsTony]

[cAstAgeAr]

[attachment=2724][attachment=2725]

[NEMESIS]

Omg that is awesome haahahh!

[MrsTonysEvilTwin]

[NEMESIS]

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item pays the $500 and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Friday at Noon.
Closed coffin.

[cAstAgeAr]

Beer contains female hormones


Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.



It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects



1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.


No further testing was considered necessary.

[Mutha]

Cruel Japanese Joke

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=5WmnsN6-0mQ

[LOAFIE]

Candid camera- Russian Style

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NGTIoNXmPR8

[cAstAgeAr]

Candid camera- Russian Style

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NGTIoNXmPR8

Bloody hell, somebody needs to get a sense of humor

[cAstAgeAr]

[attachment=2751]

[MrsTonysEvilTwin]

[cAstAgeAr]

[attachment=2757]

[NEMESIS]

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other


[attachment=2758]

[MrsTony]

Oh Nem you are a very bad man!!!!