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15-02-2007, 08:55am
> THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
>
> 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
> the same night.
>
> 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
> not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would
> be "meetings."
>
> 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>
> 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
> want you to share yours with them.
>
> 5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>
> 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>
> 7. Never lick a steak knife.
>
> 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
>
> 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
> reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>
> 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
> that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
> from her at that moment.
>
> 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make
> a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
>
> 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
> religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
> we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>
> 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
> person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
>
> 14. Your friends love you anyway.
>
> 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
> built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. Chopper says "Harden the f*** up Australia"
>
> 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
> the same night.
>
> 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
> not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would
> be "meetings."
>
> 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>
> 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
> want you to share yours with them.
>
> 5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>
> 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>
> 7. Never lick a steak knife.
>
> 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
>
> 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
> reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>
> 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
> that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
> from her at that moment.
>
> 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make
> a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
>
> 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
> religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
> we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>
> 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
> person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
>
> 14. Your friends love you anyway.
>
> 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
> built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. Chopper says "Harden the f*** up Australia"