Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD

[MrsTony660]

Don't know who this would go at my job

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.

Try Saying: I think you could do with more training
Instead Of: You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?

Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of: She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch

Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of: F*** off a*se-wipe

Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a f***.

Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of: Not my f***ing problem, mate.

Try Saying: That's interesting.
Instead Of: What the f***?

Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given
timescale.
Instead Of: No f***ing chance mate.

Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of: Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?

Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of: He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.

Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of: Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.
Salutations
Trix

If you look like your passport photo, you probably need a holiday