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03-10-2006, 01:51pm
>>
>>>THE BEER SCOOTER
>>>
>>>
>>>How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
>>>drinking and thought: "How on earth did I get home?"
>>>
>>>
>>>As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey
>>>from
>>>the pub to your house.
>>>
>>>
>>>The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.
>>>
>>>
>>>The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased
>>>to
>>>the drunk by Bacchus the Roman God of Wine. Bacchus has acquired a
>>>large
>>>batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the
>>>following
>>>fashion:
>>>
>>>
>>>The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the
>>>"slurring
>>>gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus, or one of his many
>>>sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged
>>>Beer
>>>Scooter.
>>>
>>>
>>>The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their
>>>bedroom
>>>via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a
>>>large
>>>portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
>>>This
>>>answers the second question after a night out:
>>>
>>>
>>>"How did I spend so much money?"
>>>
>>>
>>>Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are
>>>thought
>>>to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking
>>>Injuries), such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top of
>>>your
>>>head.
>>>
>>>
>>>An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the destruction of
>>>time
>>>segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals
>>>dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This
>>>answers
>>>a third question after a night out:
>>>
>>>
>>>"What the hell happened?"
>>>
>>>
>>>With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
>>>Embarrassing Moments In Time) add-on, that automatically removes,
>>>in
>>>descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
>>>Unfortunately one
>>>person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite
>>>often
>>>lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.
>>>Independent
>>>studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
>>>Scooter's
>>>navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the
>>>wrong
>>>bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
>>>
>>>
>>>For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers
>>>picked from
>>>other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending).
>>>These
>>>boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you
>>>tip-toe
>>>up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special
>>>anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the
>>>house
>>>and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the
>>>bruised shins.
>>>
>>>
>>>The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters is
>>>the
>>>TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
>>>apparently get through 260 Camel Lights in a single night.
>>>
>>>
>>>P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to
>>>comfortably
>>>get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a
>>>T-shirt.
>>>
>>>
>>> Regards Rob
never argue with a fool he will just drag you down to his level and he will beat you with experience
>>>THE BEER SCOOTER
>>>
>>>
>>>How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
>>>drinking and thought: "How on earth did I get home?"
>>>
>>>
>>>As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey
>>>from
>>>the pub to your house.
>>>
>>>
>>>The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.
>>>
>>>
>>>The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased
>>>to
>>>the drunk by Bacchus the Roman God of Wine. Bacchus has acquired a
>>>large
>>>batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the
>>>following
>>>fashion:
>>>
>>>
>>>The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the
>>>"slurring
>>>gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus, or one of his many
>>>sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged
>>>Beer
>>>Scooter.
>>>
>>>
>>>The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their
>>>bedroom
>>>via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a
>>>large
>>>portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment.
>>>This
>>>answers the second question after a night out:
>>>
>>>
>>>"How did I spend so much money?"
>>>
>>>
>>>Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are
>>>thought
>>>to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking
>>>Injuries), such as skinned knees and a sore spot on the top of
>>>your
>>>head.
>>>
>>>
>>>An undocumented feature of the Beer Scooter is the destruction of
>>>time
>>>segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals
>>>dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This
>>>answers
>>>a third question after a night out:
>>>
>>>
>>>"What the hell happened?"
>>>
>>>
>>>With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of
>>>Embarrassing Moments In Time) add-on, that automatically removes,
>>>in
>>>descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
>>>Unfortunately one
>>>person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite
>>>often
>>>lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.
>>>Independent
>>>studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
>>>Scooter's
>>>navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the
>>>wrong
>>>bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
>>>
>>>
>>>For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers
>>>picked from
>>>other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending).
>>>These
>>>boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you
>>>tip-toe
>>>up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special
>>>anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the
>>>house
>>>and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the
>>>bruised shins.
>>>
>>>
>>>The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters is
>>>the
>>>TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
>>>apparently get through 260 Camel Lights in a single night.
>>>
>>>
>>>P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to
>>>comfortably
>>>get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a
>>>T-shirt.
>>>
>>>
>>> Regards Rob
never argue with a fool he will just drag you down to his level and he will beat you with experience