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21-01-2007, 04:08pm
Rev... mate... I sent your post to the Diplomatic Corp in Canberra and they were kind enough to reply.
Dear Mr Rev 01
Your fond reference to Queen Victoria brands you as an anti-republican. For the moment we will allow this, but please check the prevailing wind direction prior to any further statements to be sure you are still supporting the popular view.
The Noble Park hoons are on our payroll and we would thank you not to speak of them in such derogatory tones. Those fine lads embody the spirit of freedom and non-conformity that keeps our society on its toes AND beats the common man into submission. This is very important if we are to maintain your dependence on our ailing and otherwise lacklustre constabulary. Please consider the delicate balance we must maintain in order to keep all the power to ourselves.
Likewise, those wonderful individuals of Somali & Sudanese birth are here at our invitation. We had at first hoped they would assist the Noble Park chaps in their unending duties but instead they chose to introduce a rather unique and very effective racial element to our plans - which its working out very well. Have no fear that the losses due to (as you put it) "these gangs being at each other's throats, rioting & stabbing each other with unrestrained abandon." will cause a reduction in their numbers, as there are always so many more where they came from. We do however thank you for bringing this possibility to our attention and we will start scouring the prisons in those countries immediately for new recruits and restore the balance. By the way, it is against the law for those persons actually born here to say anything derogatory about anyone who comes here. So consider that a warning. Racist !
Oh really ! Another racist slur ? Now you are picking on our most successful operatives, the Serbs & Croats. I mean really ! This is too much. Do you know how hard it is to book two 200 seat blocks at a major tennis event ? Do you know how hard it is to get them placed next to each other in just the right way to ensure a riot can commence without all you Aussies getting in the way ? These things take months of planning. Thankfully all those war criminal chaps put in a sterling effort in training, co-ordinating and recruiting for us. Saves us a lot of bother. And NO, its not self perpetuating hatred. You must be joking. These people have short attention spans. We have to keep them at each others throats otherwise the whole plans goes dreadfully awry. Oh... and this is your second racism warning. You were born here so you must understand you have no rights.
Those rabid mobs seen lining the streets of Dandenong at MotoGP time are not there for their own inane amusement ! Again, you have no grasp of the enormous tactical and logistical effort that we must put into our plans to keep society under the heel of the governments boot. They are our annual recruitment drive ! We supply the sofa's ! And... as we pay them so well for their services they DO own the f*&^ing place.
We quote you in saying.... "Victoria is spinning out of control into a vicious & violent place & all we see is inaction by the so called "authorities". Bracks tells us that there's more police now than ever...........well,where the f*** are they"
It is intensely gratifying to see how well our plans are working out. Thank you for giving us the will and the vigor to go on!
Listen Mr. Rev, lets face it - if there was revenue in apprehending these criminals, we'd put in a bit more effort. But honestly - the courts cost a fortune, jail and rehabilitation is just too expensive to even consider. These are all COSTS ! We're here to make a profit - oh, and run a quasi-communist state of course - but thats a secondary aim. So please keep believing that speeding kills and we'll keep bu$ting ea$y target$ for our political master$. Remember.... 59km/h = citizen.... 61km/h = CRIMINAL ! Of course, if our propaganda was even remotely correct you'd be a dead criminal as the speeding would have in fact killed you - but even we don't believe that rubbish. We don't have to believe it Mr. Rev, we just have to profit from it. In any other application, you'd call it marketing and we would receive an Emmy or something.
We hope this response answers all of your questions. If you would like more information, please speak loudly into the flower arrangement in your lounge room. Failing that, into the third spanner from the left in your garage.
Regards
The Department of Societal Chaos.
p.s. - Bracks won the election. If Victorians vote for him, they deserve what we dish out. The older I get, the better I was. Regards.... RobEdited by: AstroBusa at: 21/1/07 17:15
Dear Mr Rev 01
Your fond reference to Queen Victoria brands you as an anti-republican. For the moment we will allow this, but please check the prevailing wind direction prior to any further statements to be sure you are still supporting the popular view.
The Noble Park hoons are on our payroll and we would thank you not to speak of them in such derogatory tones. Those fine lads embody the spirit of freedom and non-conformity that keeps our society on its toes AND beats the common man into submission. This is very important if we are to maintain your dependence on our ailing and otherwise lacklustre constabulary. Please consider the delicate balance we must maintain in order to keep all the power to ourselves.
Likewise, those wonderful individuals of Somali & Sudanese birth are here at our invitation. We had at first hoped they would assist the Noble Park chaps in their unending duties but instead they chose to introduce a rather unique and very effective racial element to our plans - which its working out very well. Have no fear that the losses due to (as you put it) "these gangs being at each other's throats, rioting & stabbing each other with unrestrained abandon." will cause a reduction in their numbers, as there are always so many more where they came from. We do however thank you for bringing this possibility to our attention and we will start scouring the prisons in those countries immediately for new recruits and restore the balance. By the way, it is against the law for those persons actually born here to say anything derogatory about anyone who comes here. So consider that a warning. Racist !
Oh really ! Another racist slur ? Now you are picking on our most successful operatives, the Serbs & Croats. I mean really ! This is too much. Do you know how hard it is to book two 200 seat blocks at a major tennis event ? Do you know how hard it is to get them placed next to each other in just the right way to ensure a riot can commence without all you Aussies getting in the way ? These things take months of planning. Thankfully all those war criminal chaps put in a sterling effort in training, co-ordinating and recruiting for us. Saves us a lot of bother. And NO, its not self perpetuating hatred. You must be joking. These people have short attention spans. We have to keep them at each others throats otherwise the whole plans goes dreadfully awry. Oh... and this is your second racism warning. You were born here so you must understand you have no rights.
Those rabid mobs seen lining the streets of Dandenong at MotoGP time are not there for their own inane amusement ! Again, you have no grasp of the enormous tactical and logistical effort that we must put into our plans to keep society under the heel of the governments boot. They are our annual recruitment drive ! We supply the sofa's ! And... as we pay them so well for their services they DO own the f*&^ing place.
We quote you in saying.... "Victoria is spinning out of control into a vicious & violent place & all we see is inaction by the so called "authorities". Bracks tells us that there's more police now than ever...........well,where the f*** are they"
It is intensely gratifying to see how well our plans are working out. Thank you for giving us the will and the vigor to go on!
Listen Mr. Rev, lets face it - if there was revenue in apprehending these criminals, we'd put in a bit more effort. But honestly - the courts cost a fortune, jail and rehabilitation is just too expensive to even consider. These are all COSTS ! We're here to make a profit - oh, and run a quasi-communist state of course - but thats a secondary aim. So please keep believing that speeding kills and we'll keep bu$ting ea$y target$ for our political master$. Remember.... 59km/h = citizen.... 61km/h = CRIMINAL ! Of course, if our propaganda was even remotely correct you'd be a dead criminal as the speeding would have in fact killed you - but even we don't believe that rubbish. We don't have to believe it Mr. Rev, we just have to profit from it. In any other application, you'd call it marketing and we would receive an Emmy or something.
We hope this response answers all of your questions. If you would like more information, please speak loudly into the flower arrangement in your lounge room. Failing that, into the third spanner from the left in your garage.
Regards
The Department of Societal Chaos.
p.s. - Bracks won the election. If Victorians vote for him, they deserve what we dish out. The older I get, the better I was. Regards.... RobEdited by: AstroBusa at: 21/1/07 17:15