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05-09-2008, 12:56pm
Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for f#ck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f#cking listening'
Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and
walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f#cks off.
Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.
Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.
A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to
panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of.
The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you f#cker'. He replied casually,
'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ar se but you said, 'F#ck off it'll be too painful',
Now who's laughing'
Husband says ' Oh for f#ck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'
My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.
She said she wanted to come back as a pig.
I said, 'You're not f#cking listening'
Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and
walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f#cks off.
Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.
Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.
A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to
panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.
Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of.
The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.
The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.
Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.
She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you f#cker'. He replied casually,
'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ar se but you said, 'F#ck off it'll be too painful',
Now who's laughing'
Regards
Andy
Live life like it's the 2 minute warning
My Way is the Highway
When life throws you a curve..lean into it
Andy
Live life like it's the 2 minute warning
My Way is the Highway
When life throws you a curve..lean into it