m8ee Wrote:Queensland joke - substitute your biggest bogan
suburb for Ipswich if you are not from brisbane.
HURRICANE APPEAL
A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Ipswich in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Queen Street, Ipswich. Victims were seen wandering around
aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately $30.00 worth of damage..
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.
The Ipswich Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Ipswich.
One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and
River slept through it all." Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: baseball caps, tracksuits,
singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, reebok boots and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
Donations $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Ipswich Uniting Church has cancelled their local "Nativity Display" due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Ipswich - oh, stuff it, they won't be able to read it, anyway!
M8ee. I did as you suggested back in March. I substituted the Ipswich name for Windale, the local Newcastle bogan suburb, and sent this to a few work mates.
It made the rounds of all the offices in Newcastle and eventaully was read out over the popular morning show on the radio.
They treated is as a news bulletin and it was a riot.
I embellished it a bit and made it sound even worse than the original.
Apparantly it has caused quite a shit fight and has even now been raised in state government as a cause to have the radio station sanctioned for bigotry.
Some people just have no sense of humor.
"If time catches up with you. You're going too slow!"
Regards BUSGO
Regards BUSGO