The useless bits of info to see if we can make a million posts thread

[Mutha]

91. An employee who was a half hour late for work was asked (by me) why she was so late. She responded that it was Friday the 13th and she was afraid if she drove over 20 mph, she'd get in a wreck. Since she had to take a major four-lane highway to work, she was a little ticked off at me for doubting her word at driving 20 in a 55.

[Mutha]

92. Actual employees record. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. This was only a few days of a 6 page list for two years of employment. 8/16 Sat. 8:15 Joe called and said he was sick and probably wont be in on Monday because he is so sick today. 8/17 I called Joe's house and His mom said he went out with his friend. 8/18-8/19-8/20 Joe still stayed out sick. 9/6 10:30 Joe called in sick. I asked why he did not call me earlier and he said he was sleeping. 10/13 Monday Joe did not show up at all. 10/18 Sat. Joe asked to show up at 9:00 on Monday 10/20. 10/20 Mon. Joe showed up at 10:30 am. I spoke with him as to why he showed up later than he stated. He had no reason at all for being 1 1/2 hours late. 10/25 Sat. Joe asked to show up at 9:00 on Monday 10/27. I spoke with him in regards to not doing the same thing as the week before and he said that he would be in on time and he was sorry for being late. 10/27 Mon. Joe did not show up so I called him at 3:15 to find out where he was. Joe showed up at 3:30 p.m. with no excuse or remorse for being 6 1/2 hours late.

[Mutha]

93. My boyfriend can't come to work, today. He's sick and has 111 degree temperature (hope you're going to the funeral, lady). Note: This really happened and the guy was fired. Gee! Wonder why?

[Mutha]

94. My dad, Larry Taylor, won a radio contest in Seattle WA with this great excuse for not coming back to work from vacation... Don't call, don't write, don't let anyone know what's going on - take an extra week, or two. Then when you are ready to go back to work, just call up your boss and say.... " Don't pay the ransom - I escaped! "

[Mutha]

95. I can not come to work today because I do not have any shoes.!!!

[Mutha]

96. An employee phoned in at 9:00 am with the following. "My sister stole my money and I am out looking for her."

[Mutha]

97. I supervise a group of truck drivers who are paid by the hour. One of their tactics for getting more time is to give excuses for being late returning from a run. Flat tires and mechanical break-downs are too easily documented, so they often come up with excuses such as " there was an accident that closed the highway" or "the bridge at BigTown was open to let a barge pass." My favorite is: "I saw and alligator on the side of the road (we operate in Louisiana), and I stopped to help the game warden capture it."

[Mutha]

98. I am unable to come to work today. I tried lifting our baby daughter out of her crib and twisted my back.

[Mutha]

99. I can't come in to work today, my sister tripped over the dog, fell off the porch and broke her wrist. I have to take her to the hospital.

[Mutha]

100. I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my watch!!!

[Mutha]

101. My co-worker once called in this excuse to me and asked me to tell our supervisor. " I have ants." It was later explained that she had ants in her basement apartment and had to call an exterminator in.

[Mutha]

102. I won't be into work today because my plane that was going to leave on Sunday didn't leave until today.

[Mutha]

103. I work in a Medical office and have to open the place at 5:30 am. well, I overslept that morning (really overslept) and didn't get there until around 10:00 am. Well, the boss shows up at 8:00 am and I can imagine was wondering where I was for all this time. When he asked I replied..." I was here, you know how the copier is out again? Well, I was under the desk trying to fix it. I don't know how you couldn't see me, my legs were sticking out far enough to trip you." He replied," we'll have to call the repair man for that I cant have you under the desk for 4 hours!"

[Mutha]

104. On my way to work today, my tooth cracked. I'll be going to the dentist.

[Mutha]

105. I'm going to be 20 minutes late, but I'll be there. 2 Hours later. . . You'll never believe this, but I fell asleep. I'm on my way now. The next day . . . I never did wake up, now I'm not feeling well so I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe it was too much sleep!