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16. Called in on Tuesday I won't be able to come to work for the rest of the week. My shrink put me on a depressant pill yesterday and I was up all night wired. I'm in zombieland right now and I don't want to drive in fear of an accident, or run the machines in fear of getting hurt or dismembered. I need the rest of the week off cause my body needs to adjust to the medication. So I need the last three days as vacation days because I've missed too much time already and I can't afford to miss anymore .
never fly higher than your angel.
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17. I won't be in today or Ever Again. I've found a way to earn money by staying at home working on my puter. I'm tired of getting paid for punching a time clock, working my but off on a J.O.B (Just Over Broke) 9 to 5 and retiring with $ 0 in my bank account, forced to live of the Government and taxpayers. If you want to know what I'll be doing, send an email to: Cookie18@SmartBot.NET Hooray! Freedom at Last!
never fly higher than your angel.
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18. Tom Robbins says: "any one who goes to work everyday... everyday... IS sick! so, 'call in well' to work today!
never fly higher than your angel.
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19. Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap be in tomorrow!
never fly higher than your angel.
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20. I cant come to work today because the city is paving my street and I cant get out!
never fly higher than your angel.
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21. A graphic artist I once knew told me of a person who called in and said his house had burned overnight. He was caught in the lie when word got out because co-workers took up a collection and the guy had to come clean when they gave it to him. He said it's just so much easier to say you've got diarrhea. They can't argue with that. (Imodium hadn't been invented yet.)
never fly higher than your angel.
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22. My wife is too sick to get out of bed, so I'm staying home to take care of her.
never fly higher than your angel.
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23. A lady took a leave of absence to cavort with her boyfriend. The supervisor looked the other way when she said she had to go to Arizona to get her stuff out of storage. After her return, she transferred to the front office. When her paramour again desired her companionship for travel, she said her father had a stroke. She was quietly dismissed when the office manager called the mother to ask how the allegedly ailing father was doing and was told the truth.
never fly higher than your angel.
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24. Back in the olden days, female employees were not required to report their pregnancies, and she was one of the damnedably lucky ones that never showed. Her boss found out when she called to say she couldn't make it that day because she was in labor.
never fly higher than your angel.
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25. I wont be in today I ran into a car and need to go to the doctor's I cant find my shoes I cant find my Son!!! There is a good show on T.V. I need to donate blood today I'm Drunk I left rubber cement next to my bed why I was sleeping and got really High I fell on a flashlight " Butt First " My dog ate my car keys and went to sleep and when I woke up found my self in another state.
never fly higher than your angel.
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26. I won't be in today....I'm calling in dead.
never fly higher than your angel.
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27. Excuse me sir, but I won't be in today. My home is flooded and I'm currently standing on my dresser in my second story bedroom. Thanks and have a nice day.
never fly higher than your angel.
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28. Can't make it in. I have a chance of filling in for someone on jury duty.
never fly higher than your angel.
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29. Hello, This is, ________ I've used all of my sick days and I'm calling in dead.
never fly higher than your angel.
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30. Actually used (and believed) when I was working in Toronto. "You'll never believe it! I said with a straight face, I was heading here with plenty of time to be on time, when my car tires got stuck in the streetcar tracks! Now, I could drive forward and backwards but I couldn't turn off the tracks. I continued. Now I knew I couldn't safely stay there, so I did the only thing I could. I said, I had to drive all the way down to the rail yards and (finally) drive out free at the barns. Just to top it off, I continued, I'm sure you know how far away the rail yards are from work. I took me an extra half hour just to drive back! That's why I was late for work."
never fly higher than your angel.
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