A scottish joke

[Ward P]

A Scottish Solder in full dress uniform marches into a chemists.

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.



The condom has a number of patches on it.

The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

“How much to repair it?” the Scot asks the chemist.

“Six pence,” says the chemist.

“How much for a new one?”

“Ten pence,”says the chemist.



The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.



A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout.



The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

“The regiment has taken a vote,” he says.

“Weâ€ll have a new one.”

[bigfoot]

LOL

[cheeky]

thats reaally bad.. its a double groannnnnnnnnnn


mind you im alot scot plus alot of other mongrel bred

[Gnarbunkle99]

I like the Scottish twist to it, it could have been an Irish joke but then the sporron imagery wouldn't have worked!

[CeeJay07]

I am Scottish by birth and I didn't find that terribly amusing ( joking...it was not bad).....if you like jokes about how tight they are with money what about these -

*copper wire was invented by two Scotsman fighting over a penny

*my Dad is so tight, he used to wake up in the middle of the night to see if he'd lost any sleep

*my Dad dropped some loose change one day, he bent down to pick it up and it hit him in the back of the head.

[BUSGO]

good ones.

Here's another.

A virile young Scotsman has his eye on a young lassie from Glencoe who he sees every Friday on the way home from the fields.

Each week the young scot asks her to join him in a wee dram behind the barn.

Each week she replies that she could not! For she could see the glint in his eyes.

One day the cunning young lad decides to foil her by wearing some sunglasses.

He once again meets the young lassie and whispers in her ear. “Will ye come with me behind the barn for a wee dram and a cuddle?”

She says, “Noooo! I canna see the glint in ya eye but I can see the tilt in ya kilt!”