Need a chat to child access issue expert - considering my legal options ....

[Ozboc]

Greetings . x is causing me a lot of grief as usual in regards to my son - just need to ask someone a question about an issue to see if its worth going to court about

Basic premise is she wants to send him to a school that i don't agree with that is 40 min drive from me -- and she herself is a school teacher that works only 5 min away from my home and is able to put him in school where she teaches or another one just a few minutes from where she works

i currently see him 4 nights a fortnight - but when he starts school next year it will be 1 night per fortnight - she claims its an excellent academic school , but he is only 5 yrs old ... not a teenager. You can send a kid to the best most expensive school , and if he does not want to learn .. then he wont - if he excels as a gifted student - then we can re talk the issue ...

ok any legal beagles - please Pm me .... time is running out ..

Boc

[kev11e]

G'day
I had a similar problem many years ago. Family court had a counselling service available as a step prior to the formal court stuff. Basically a mediation type session. Worked for me. Might not still be available. Might not be applicable. Might not work at all.
But good luck. Keep on with the efforts to maintain time with your son, you will both benefit.
Regards
Kevin

[BUSGO]

I have seen in the news recently that much fairer access laws are about to be enacted.
I would see a lawyer and try and get the best result for you all.

I agree a 5 year old does not need a special school, just a caring school.

[mechanx]

The laws have all changed now , you should be able to get 50/50 access . I had the same problem ,lucky for me i have a mate who's a family lawer,and another mate who's a barrister . goodluck

[Mutha]

Young men need to be with there dad's more then once a fornight, good luck!!!

[RaZ]

as a bloke who had his parents break up at 5 - I agree with mother - he will need you more then that. My old man thought it was a good idea to leave me with my mother, now he wish's he never did.

[Pink Angel]

^^^ Depends on the mother Raz

[Mutha]

I was only 5 years old when my mum & dad split up. I resented my mum for constanly rat bagging my dad, I loved them both equaley and hated being stuck in the middle.
Kids make up there own minds, so both sides stay cool for your kids.

[1hotbusa]

As we are currently going through the family court, to save costs go to the family court and make an application regarding parenting. Parenting covers access/contact and it will also allow for mediation.

If you already have a parenting order, then make application for change. The parenting order is a must, especially if you have an ex from hell.

With the new child support scheme the amount of child support to be paid is based on how many nights you have the child/children....the less amount of nights the more you pay.

[1300hayabusa]

Greetings . x is causing me a lot of grief as usual in regards to my son - just need to ask someone a question about an issue to see if its worth going to court about

Basic premise is she wants to send him to a school that i don't agree with that is 40 min drive from me -- and she herself is a school teacher that works only 5 min away from my home and is able to put him in school where she teaches or another one just a few minutes from where she works

i currently see him 4 nights a fortnight - but when he starts school next year it will be 1 night per fortnight - she claims its an excellent academic school , but he is only 5 yrs old ... not a teenager. You can send a kid to the best most expensive school , and if he does not want to learn .. then he wont - if he excels as a gifted student - then we can re talk the issue ...

ok any legal beagles - please Pm me .... time is running out ..

Boc

What is your custody agreement with her???how is time split??
If the school is academically better than the one next to you than you should be happy that he will get the best.
If you go to court and she states and proves that the school is better plus her being a teacher and knowlegeable about the subject [i]could sway in her way.You have to remember that the school is not that far away and my advise is not to let her drag you into court and use your son as a tool just to get to you.Alternatively the family court will decide on the best interest of the child which in some cases is a huge crock of shit and turmoil. [/i]

[steventh]

Hi Ozboc,

bad luck with the x.

My experience (which is now 4 yrs ago ) is that you cant do anything - but you need to speak to a family lawyer. My ex took my kids to Scone, 5 hrs away from Sydney. The advice I got was unless she is moving interstate there is little you can do about it (apparently a 10 hour round trip to see my kids every second weekend was considered OK!).

luckily, for me they were back in Sydney after 6mths.

The point is - get advice from a professional experienced in the area. Counselling is great - if you both are committed to reach a mutually acceptable agreement - which unfortunatley often isnt the case.

Mate. I wish you the best.

[BLACKZOOK]

I have been dealing with this shit for the last 12 years. I have 3 sons now 21, 15 and 13 years old so they were fairly young when we split. My ex is a bitch but she probably say's something similar about me, people change when they separate.

I first took her to court applying for full custody 2 years after we split, my application was based on almost criminal neglect as a result of her coke habit. One week before court she enrolled for rehab classes and the judge ruled in her favour commenting good on you for recognising your problem and doing something about it. Not a f*&^ing word about leaving the kids alone for days on end.

I took her to court again 1 year later when she all of a sudden decided that she would up and move the kids to QLD as they all needed a change. I won this case, the court ruled that she could move the kids anywhere she liked as long as they continued to attend their current Sydney school every day. A very clever ruling by the judge. My case was that as a regular custodial parent it was benificial to the boys to see me every second weekend and to continue in their current school where they had established friends and played in sporting teams.

The family court will always rule on what is best for the kids, If you are a stable parent who regularly sees the kids and is a good role model for them then that is considered paramount to their welfare by the court. You having access to your son one day a fortnight will not be accepted by the court, they will decide on a method of continuing your access at its current level.

Having said that they may give you access in a way or method that does not suit your lifestyle. Taking her to court is a last resort as it will cost you thousands (I have spent over $17,000 so far on 2 cases).

Go to the family court, talk to a counselor and organise mediation. Tell her that if she does not attend mediation then court is the only option and that you will fight her with every cent that you can beg borrow or steal. If necessary quit your job and get legal aid to fight her.

You may be suprised at the result the above will achieve. If nothing else it will show her that you will not be pushed around when it comes to your kids.

There are several organisation out there mate if you need advice or are feeling low, DADS etc. They helped me 12 years ago when I felt like giving up and blowing my brains out after my access problems.

Good luck mate. Just remember that it will get better and your kids will know the effort you put in to remain their dad and a constructive part of their lives

If I can help further call me on 0400 697 254.[/i]

[Madmax]

In a case like this I would automatically suggest the "shotgun in the left ear and pull both triggers for her" and ventilate her skull, however your kids would lose both you and her that way as tempting as it may be.

The guys here are saying some really bright shit. They've been there and done that.

Best luck mate, remember, in time your kids will see who really cares for them and who's on a power trip and make their own minds up.



Max

[Ozboc]

Thanks to all that have replied .. I have read each any every reply very carefully.. I might put it to her that the fact i will be seeing my son a LOT less now as an impact on her decision. She thankfully is a strong believer that my son should have a dad in the picture as much as possible , especially now that her father had recently died. i still get accused of being the worlds worst dad ... but i also see my partners x ( his 3 kids living with us ) he does not give a toss about his kids at all -- and i play more the father role than him with him paying about $100 Child support a week for 3 kids where i pay double that easily for one

In the process of writing a carefully worded email which will state the good points far outweigh her decision..

will let you know how i go ....


Boc

[kev11e]

Thanks to all that have replied .. I have read each any every reply very carefully.. I might put it to her that the fact i will be seeing my son a LOT less now as an impact on her decision. She thankfully is a strong believer that my son should have a dad in the picture as much as possible , especially now that her father had recently died. i still get accused of being the worlds worst dad ... but i also see my partners x ( his 3 kids living with us ) he does not give a toss about his kids at all -- and i play more the father role than him with him paying about $100 Child support a week for 3 kids where i pay double that easily for one

In the process of writing a carefully worded email which will state the good points far outweigh her decision..

will let you know how i go ....


Boc

Good luck, hope it all goes well for you.
Regards
Kevin