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+--- Thread: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours (/showthread.php?tid=9685)
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Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 15-04-2008
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
Unbelievable, but supposedly all true.
Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
============ ===
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work..
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Custom er: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
=== ============
A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
=================================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
===============
RE: Funny computer stories - Add yours - BUSGO - 15-04-2008
They bring back memories Pete.
I could have written a book over the 10 years I was a helpdesk / tech support guru.
(I SHOULD HAVE!)
One outstanding one that comes to mind was back in the 80s.
The Air Force had a handfull of IBM PCs on most bases and the early ones had 5.25" floppy drives.
I was going around the bases swapping them out for new models and after a couple of days one of the clerks rang to say that her floppy disk would not work and the disk that she put in would not eject.
I popped around to have a look for her and found that she had folded a 5.25" disk in half and squeezed it into a 3.5" disk drive.
Fair Dinkum - you would not believe some of the stuff I've seen in real life, not just internet stories.
RE: Funny computer stories - Add yours - BUSGO - 15-04-2008
OS/2 was always good for a laugh as well!!!
It was a good idea at the time though.
RE: Funny computer stories - Add yours - DjPete - 15-04-2008
love it Busgo.
More more...lol
The first website and webserver ever made - DjPete - 16-04-2008
http://info.cern.ch/
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 17-04-2008
pic05030.jpg (Size: 19.58 KB / Downloads: 111)
pic06202.jpg (Size: 22.91 KB / Downloads: 111)
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RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - BUSGO - 17-04-2008
Good cartoons Pete....
Here is another true life experience.
Back in the early 80's the Air Force had a minicomputer system called a Perkin Elmer minicomputer with input terminals that could be ganged up and used in data entry rooms where the operators all sat in rows and typed in the data from handwritten forms that were gathered from all over the base.
The hardware was called Interdata and the terminals were called Visual Display Units ( VDU )s.
They consisted of a very bulky CRT and a very bulky keyboard.
No such thing as a mouse back then...
Anyway the keyboard was like a very large hollow box with a standard QWERTY keypad on top. It had a hole underneath to allow for ventilation. (Yes even keyboards used to get warm).
We had a contract for hardware maintenance and the rep used to come and do a monthly hardware inspection and service.
On one of these days, one of the younger girls went out to the loo or somewhere while the techo was doing his visit. He rushed over and fiddled with her keyboard for a bit and unplugged it from the back of the screen. Then when she came back she complained that her VDU would not respond when she typed.
He came over and picked up the keyboard and shook it.
All these dry pasta type letters came spewing out of the bottom of it and she jumped back in shock.
He said theres your problem, the letters have all come loose!
The whole room erupted and she said
"HOW THE f*** DID I DO THAT?"
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - BUSGO - 22-04-2008
A guy I know had a laptop that wouldn't power up.
He goes and buys a new one and gets the old one checked out anyway.
Turns out the old one only had a faulty power lead and is now back in action.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Sorry DJ - couldn't resist it.
This is why they say that I am an "utter utter utter bastard".
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - Mutha - 22-04-2008
I will tell you a secret, as long as you promise not to tell anyone.
When I have phoned up for support, I have have heard those little buggers in the back ground laughing.
Nudge Nudge Wink Wink, say no more
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 22-04-2008
BUSGO Wrote:A guy I know had a laptop that wouldn't power up.
He goes and buys a new one and gets the old one checked out anyway.
Turns out the old one only had a faulty power lead and is now back in action.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Sorry DJ - couldn't resist it.
This is why they say that I am an "utter utter utter bastard".
Well thats fine I know it seems a bit lame but I did try to troubleshoot.
1. I checked another power board
2. I took the battery out and tried direct with power lead
3. I figured no way the battery and the power lead had gone at the same time
4. When I got home I tried the whole scenario again, but this time after waiting 10 minutes with the battery left out (I had read that sometimes it is a good idea to give it ten minutes) I put the lead back on again and it powered up!
5. I didn't move anything and left it running without any probs.
6. Must be battery then, ordered one online
7. 10 minutes later it stops again!
8. I quickly cancel the order for the battery
9. I conclude that it is a motherboard intermittent prob (which a few techs had told me on the ph that it could be)that I could go round and round to get fixed
10. I decide to get a second hand one with same specs.
11. Now that the pressure is off and the new one is all set for next weekend gig I think may as well see if anything can be done.
12. Dealer finds faulty power supply lead.
Note I don't have it back as yet...maybe tomorrow.
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 23-04-2008
Quote:"Note I don't have it back as yet...maybe tomorrow."
Its back fixed..power lead confirmed roger that.
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - BUSGO - 23-04-2008
I know exactly how you feel Pete.
I was just taking the p*ss.
I've gone through all of that before with laptops from my old job.
There comes a time when you can't afford to spend more time on troubleshooting than the subject item is worth.
Hence the throwaway society we now live in.
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 23-04-2008
well its going fine again.
Ran it for a few hrs today no prob but I like the other one better as its smaller so it will now be the backup
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - kawasuki - 23-04-2008
A funny computer story???,Hmmm,, Arh a dead computer smashed to little bits then burned with Optusnet.
My real name is mechanx.
RE: Funny computer stories, techy stuff, computer trivia - Add yours - DjPete - 02-07-2008
kawasuki Wrote:A funny computer story???,Hmmm,, Arh a dead computer smashed to little bits then burned with Optusnet.lol
Here is a beauty.
This is the funniest thing I have seen for ages...
http://www.noob.us/humor/the-website-is-down-sales-guy-vs-tech-support/