+- Welcome to The Australian Hayabusa Club Forum - ARCHIVE ONLY VERSION - NEW REGISTRATIONS & POSTS DISABLED (https://www.australian-hayabusa-club.com/MyBB)
+-- Forum: Non Bike Discussions (https://www.australian-hayabusa-club.com/MyBB/forumdisplay.php?fid=43)
+--- Forum: Not Bike Related (https://www.australian-hayabusa-club.com/MyBB/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Thread: Laughter... The Best Medicene PLEASE USE NEW THREAD (/showthread.php?tid=18106)
Pages:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 24-01-2008
That's GOLD.. Love the pic
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - Bill Gaheer - 24-01-2008
I loved the dog-on-toilet pic....
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 24-01-2008
ROFLMAO
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - cAstAgeAr - 24-01-2008
[attachment=2232]
At the risk of being flamed by the Girlies . .
[attachment=2229]
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - NEMESIS - 25-01-2008
Notbad not bad suz hahah
An that vader blimp is gold!!
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - cAstAgeAr - 25-01-2008
[attachment=2234]
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - LOAFIE - 29-01-2008
Gimme a bad girl Anytime...
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "Don't... Stop..." Bad girls say, "Don't Stop!"
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - BUSGO - 29-01-2008
SEX WITH AN OLDER MAN...
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked," Mr. Burns, how do you have so much energy??? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable." Mr. Burns said, "I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it." Oprah said, "I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age." George said, "Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it!!"
Oprah said, "I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?" So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, "I just don't believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man." George said, "The second time is even better than the first time. Oprah said, "You can really do it again at your age?" George said, "Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes." When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside
herself with joy. She said, "Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be better than the first time... At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!"
George said That the third time would be even better. "You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me in thirty minutes." Oprah said, "Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?"
George said, "No, but the last time I had sex with a black women she stole my wallet .
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - Ruffy - 30-01-2008
Subject: New Zealand Crisis
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at
4am by the telephone.
'Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this
hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the
Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground.. It is istimated
the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of
the week.!!!'
PM: 'Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those
unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!'
Hilth Munister: 'We're going to hef to shup some in from...
Brutain?...'
PM: 'No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!'
Hilth Munister: 'What about Australia?'
PM: 'I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell hum we need one million condoms;
ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll
continue to respect the all blacks!!'
Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes..
She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. With
small writing on each one..........
MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - NEMESIS - 30-01-2008
LOAFIE Wrote:Gimme a bad girl Anytime...
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "Don't... Stop..." Bad girls say, "Don't Stop!"
YOu know how it goes....
Good girls go to heaven...
Bad girls go EVERYWHERE....
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 30-01-2008
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the RACV or the NRMA is not an option.
I will win.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.'
We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.'
For all I know, these are the same thing.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either beer, sports, sex, cars or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. The color is just fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. Jewelry adds to the outfit, any pieces are fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine.
It does not make your rear end look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that, so lets not go blaming the dress. Your hair is fine.
You look fine. Can we just go now?
-----------------------
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
-----------------------
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 30-01-2008
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiit...'
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 30-01-2008
A man sees an ad in the newspaper for a Ferrari for $5. He's like WOAH is this some kinda joke?
He calls up the the Geoff who had placed the ad, and asks him if he's for real. The guy says yeah, come on over. 2007 ferrari, red in colour.
Geoff gives the guy his address and the guy tells work that he's not going in that day, and rushes over.
Out the front of the house is a basically brand new red ferrari. Not a dent or a chipped window.
Geoff comes outside, and says, yup, it's yours if you want it for $5. The man asks what the catch is, and Geoff informs him that there is no catch, just a $5 ferrari.
The guy hands over $5, and says, come on Geoff, what happened? Really?
Geoff says.. Okay.. Well, my wife was gonna get half the money from the ferrari when I sold it. And the stupid cow was just using me for the money, so she'll get what's coming to her!!!
$2.50 and the lounges.
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - 2CUTE4U - 30-01-2008
The Motorcyclist IQ Test
Please Note – This test has been designed by a leading motorcycle-riding psychologist
This is a serious test. Please be totally honest when answering the questions and no cheating with the scores. If you are having trouble understanding the questions your local Harley dealer may be able to help you with choosing the right answer
1. You ride a what cc bike
125 10 points
250 30 points
250 (been riding more than 3 years) 10 points
257-700 20 points
701-900 40 points
901-1500 10 points
1501+ 40 points
2. What helmet do you wear?
None -50points
Open Face/Beanie -10points
Full Face (Made in China) - 5 points
Full Face (Not made in China) 20 points
3. Do you always wear full finger gloves?
Yes 10 points
No - 5 points
4. Do you wear a jacket with back protection?
Yes 10 points
No 5 points
The back of by Harley is fine -50 points
5. Want pants do you wear riding?
Board Shorts -20 points
Levi Jeans 5 points
Kevlar reinforced jeans 10 points
Leather pants with armour 20 points
Leather Chaps -30 points
6. Do you have LED accent lights on your bike?
Yes 0 points
No 10 points
7. Does your bike do wheelies?
Yes, always -30 points
What’s a wheelie? -50 points
I am not telling you 20 points
8. Do you have a tattoo?
Yes, one 10 points
Yes, but its tribal -20 points
More than one 20 points
9. Body Modification
YES I have my wang pierced (guys) 10 points
YES I have breast implants (chicks) 10 points
NO, but my bike has a cool exhaust 1 point
10. Have you ever dropped a bike?
Once 10 points
Two or Three times 20 points
Four or more times -10 points
11. What state do you live in?
Victoria -5 points
Queensland or WA 10 points
Tasmania or NSW -10 points
Other 5 points
TOTAL Score
Under 40 points - You should not be riding a motorcycle. You are a danger to yourself and other human beings. You proabably dont even have a licence and got a bike because you thought it was cool
40-60 points. Either you have been riding a short period of time or you are one of those arrogant "know it all" bike riders. You need to slow down, get some more training and realise that up to now you have been lucky. If you dont ride a Harley you should get one as your next bike
60 points + You are just cool like me. Run the other d$@k heads off the road and we can have it all to ourselves
RE: Laughter... The Best Medicene - NEMESIS - 31-01-2008
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."