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Temp gauge - MrsTony660 - 07-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Re: Temp gauge - m8ee - 07-12-2006
>> A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the
>> dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying
>> the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
>>"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
>>Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him,
>>blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
>>
>> He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought,
>> "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the
>> Trooper's arrival.
>>
>> Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked
>> at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is
>> Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard
>> before, I'll let you go."
>>
>>The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a
>>State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
>>
>> "Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper. Chopper says "Harden the f*** up Australia"
Re: Temp gauge - BUSGO - 07-12-2006
That cartoon was obviously drawn by a woman who has no idea what shrinks or disappears in the cold.
Any guy will tell you that the balls are first to go!
Rgds BUSGO
"TAKE MY ADVICE"
I'm not using it anyway!Edited by: BUSGO at: 7/12/06 23:56
Laughter - boonie - m8ee - 08-12-2006
The concept of David Boon in a drinking contest is an oxymoron. When Boonie is involved, there is no contest.
Alcoholics became anonymous to stop Boonie calling them "pussies who can't handle their booze".
David Boon has never been out in a game of cricket, he gives other blokes a turn.
David Boon once drank 52 beers on a plane trip from Australia to England.
David Boon famously vomited on the hallowed Adelaide Oval turf in a WSC game in 1988 before a live nationwide TV audience of millions (he went on to make 122 and win Man Of The Match). Seriously.
Boonie plays pool using his manhood as the cue. After he breaks, the only balls left on the table are his own.
Just like superman has his kryptonite, David Boon has his light beer.
David Boon's cricket whites were made from the skins of English cricketers.
David Boon has never drank a single beer in his life. He always has more than one.
In case of an emergency, David Boon's box can be used instead of an oxygen mask. It wont help you breath, but you will die a happy man.
David Boon does not wear a groin protector. Cricket balls are made of leather to withstand the impact of David Boon's groin.
When a Danish newspaper published a cartoon of David Boon without a moustache, Tasmanians from around the world started rioting.
When Boonie enters the MCG public dunny, he always comments, "So this is where the big nobs hang out", and it still gets a laugh.
In drinking competitions, David Boon has been known to take swigs from his competitors glasses when they aren't looking.
In games of skill, an inexperienced player may be referred to as a NOOB, meaning he is the complete opposite of David Boon.
If Chuck Norris threw a roundhouse kick at David Boon whilst Boony played a leg glance, the world as we know it would be destroyed.
David Boon has been known to hide a keg in his cricket bag.
In the early days of Australian motoring, David Boon realised that he needed a new type of vehicle. One that was stylish enough ferry his freshly-pressed whites and billowing moustache to the game, but robust enough to carry ten kegs of beer. And so, the Holden Ute was born.
Scientists once said that challenging Chuck Norris to a fight is the stupidest thing you can do. This is wrong. The stupidest thing you can do is challenge David Boon to a drinking contest.
It is the dream of every newly made VB can, bottle or keg to one day end up inside David Boon. Thankfully more than half get their wish granted.
A drunken David Boon once burst into the Channel 9 commentary box and exposed his penis. Richie Benaud was heard to later describe the penis as "magnificent".
Boonie's tears don't cure cancer, but they do cure a hard earned thirst as they are 4.9% alcohol.
Like most people, David Boon can crush a beer can against his forehead. Unlike most people, the beer can does not need to be emtpy.
Never ask Boonie the time, as his response will always be "Time for your shout." And you have no choice but to oblige.
When Inside Cricket magazine awards their Player of the Year, there is fine print on the bottom of the page that says: * besides David Boon.
David Boon does not get plain old morning wood. He gets morning willow.
During an MCG bomb threat evacuation, David Boon had the whole grounds cleared out in 13 seconds, with a sharp whistle and a point to the exit.
The runaway success of David Boon's famous BBQ Boon Burger lead to the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger.
David Boon can remove his moustache and use it to soak up gravy, polish cricket balls or pleasure a woman.
David Boon could count to infinity. He just can't be arsed.
Chopper says "Harden the f*** up Australia"
Line Marking - MrsTony660 - 08-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Pill to cure all ills - MrsTony660 - 10-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Lost dog - MrsTony660 - 11-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Not exactly the ANZAC spirit??? - MrsTony660 - 12-12-2006
With the talk of NZ having closer relations with Australia, will this be the next coat of arms?
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Anyone seen the cat??? - MrsTony660 - 13-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Anyone seen the cat??? - Taubusa - 13-12-2006
Thanks for the photos Mrs Tony...........always a laugh Cheers Taub
Security - MrsTony660 - 14-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Ageing Gracefully - MrsTony660 - 16-12-2006
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's just perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days after that the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
"No !" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said,
"You've got a heart murmur. Be careful."
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "arthritis." Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Loser - MrsTony660 - 17-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Ref abuse - MrsTony660 - 18-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves
Suntan - MrsTony660 - 19-12-2006
Greetings
Trix
There is nothing like a bee in your helmet to test your reflexs and nerves